"The mean reds are horrible." Holly Golightly - Breakfast at Tiffany's

I just hate it when life and events you've been looking forward to fall apart.

I've been looking forward to a visit from my mom for months. She and her companion John who were just married were supposed to fly from Reno, NV (where I grew up) out to Madison Alabama today.  Unfortunately, John's health has been deteriorating over the past month, and it was decided yesterday he is just too ill to travel.  They are both 70+.

When I got the news yesterday I was not at all surprised, not disappointed...just very concerned for both of them. They both have their health issues (as do most people) and sadly I do not hold much hope that John will rebound.

I am reminded of my fathers fight against cancer and how he lost the battle when I was 20. I still mourn his loss even after all these years.

My husbands father passed unexpectedly this summer.  My (step)daughter Katie lost her grandpa and a week later a friend of hers died in a tragic car accident. My sister lost a friend/co-worker to suicide around the same time and then her beloved cat died too. I other friends who have lost loved ones recently
and I just want it all to stop.

I want to paint but I just don't know how to paint the emotions I am going through.  (sigh, take a deep breath).

This isn't my normal blog update...but it is my blog and I hope anyone who reads this understands I'm just trying to get the bad out of my head so don't just sit here on my couch and stare at the walls or go curl up in bed and ignore the world.